Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Bridget's Candid Confessions - Part 1


I am Bridget. I am called so because I am cute and chubby and confused. I speak aloud and upset a lot of people. I got no track of people moving in and out of my life. I cant differentiate between my friends and enemies. That's also because my friends are all jerks well .... like me. We all love food and I end up fretting over the gained calories. I hate men especially when they eyes pop out when they look at my ##%@* .

My best friend is a guy and the stupid has been lying to me for the past 7 years about his birthday being on the Nov 1st when it's actually the 2nd. He ended up lying to impress a female who asked him if his birthday wasn't on the 1st of Nov like hers. The sad part of the story is hers was on Nov 7th and she was lying like him. Compulsive sick liars I must say. lets call this guy ' compulsive liar'

I hate my looks. I got grey hairs way too early in life and my hair is wavy black. I love my glasses they are 'red' and I am a communist. I love to read and talk (I talk to myself all the time).
I suddenly realise all my good friends are men and they are weird.
I love this friend of mine who is a 'compulsive abuser 'always labelled the 'womaniser'. He talks shit and that's his mask. Girls hate him ( well he says I ain't a girl). He is twice my size and yet calls me a fatso. I get fed up having coffees with him and watch him gawking girls.

I love my boy friend yeah I got one. He is a 'compulsive loner'. He can read and watch movies whole day long and I guess he was a sloth bear in his last life. He hates being among crowds. He loves eating alone, sleeping alone, playing alone to the extent I feel invisible. But I don't need him to respond I could just ventilate for hours the only reason why we get along well.

You would not want to hear about my girl friends coz they are not super cool as you would expect. There's the 'compulsive eater' and 'compulsive lover'. Compulsive eater has just one aim in life GAIN WEIGHT. I wish I could lend few pounds to her. She eats butter and drinks ghee yet remains as thin as a stick. when she does not eat she watches movies. She has renounced the world and is mostly dormant.

Compulsive lover has the same old problem. She is either smitten , or infactuated,or haunted or bored with love. Her temprament varies from day to day. In one moment she is the staunch feminist and in another a devoted lover. At one moment she is The career woman and the very next moment a docile wifey type. She is as confused as me and messy. I often find stuff I lost months ago after a year or two when she cleans her room. Never have I seen anyone dwell in mess like her but she is hilarious.

I love my life with these three guy friends and 2 girl friends and 5 cats and three dogs and their stories which becomes my own.


Anonymous said...

well well well.... not bad fatsooooo

compulsive abuser said...

well well well.... not bad fatsooooooooo

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Anonymous said...

dear darling bridget,

love you sooo much dear.

now that wasn't a lie.

-compulsive liar.