Thursday, August 5, 2010

Happy Birthday Who

When I said missing you is part of life and you said meeting me is part of your life my stupid brain was doing some analysis. Missing is not expensive but meeting definitely is with our present state. So I was not expecting you on campus on a tuesday night and there you were asking me to leave every work and join you for a chicken biriyani at Olives without anything ( luckily i had my toothbrush). I was baffled because the planner came unplanned and you looked different. I dont think we ever enjoyed our planned trips as much as we did these 2 unplanned days.
Marriage does funny things to people and I think I have acquired nausea, crying and head aches as a result of this venture. You keep worrying as to why I have nausea early mornings but what you dont know is I only have them when I am with you and when I know you are leaving the next day. I dont like coming to the airport when you leave and I never did it before and you thought I was strong and never cried when you left. You tore my facade yesterday and I admit I have cried every time but only after you left. I have had co passengers watch me all the time wondering if I was going for a funeral. And when I tell them I have just left my husband behind they smile making me wonder what was funny.
Despite so much love how shallow we are when it comes to trust. You remember I tried walking with my eyes closed holding your hand at Beasant nagar and could not close my eyes for long . A part of me told me it was foolishness in peak hours of traffic while another part told me to learn to trust and i realised learning to trust is not so easy. And I realised life is full of distractions and sometimes we lose trust in the turmoil. But we will not do that exercise again.
The ride to main gate in that small bus was filmy I was the only girl clinging to a man and women stared at me wondering why I was hugging you and I was irritated coz I had space to stand and at some point of time I felt I would tear your shirt each time the bus hit a bump. That was some ride. would have given you goosebumps 8 months ago nahi marriage stole away all those pleasures :(
You amaze me at times like you did when you told me you met my ace enemy and you sounded cool about it, when you are excited with me when I acquired my friend's stamp collection, when you hunt down the snack bar at MSB while I invigilate to experience a part of campus I have been to, you amaze me.
I wish I could list down the endless words you invent each day and the narcissistic comment you make( tumhare poore khandan mein mujhsa handsome koi hai :0 ). Your popularity among my female friends does worry me not coz I am jealous just that I dont want them to make you and archetype and make a biggggggggggggg mistake choosing some guy like you :)

I just wish I could see you standing outside my hostel shy to enter and sit among all those girls in the lounge. I wish to see those eyes twinkle when you take sigmu and kunjoose and play with them. And I wish you give me a shock of my life again by flying down unexpectedly and tell me you want to eat a chicken biriyani from Thiruvanmiyur at 10.30 pm.
But I dont ever want to stand outside the airport and see you through the glass and feel like a ghost not being able to touch you. When you called me and we stood looking at each other with our phones and placed our hands on the glass it was so painful i could just run to you but the security would not allow me and you were right in front of me yet so far away. I wish I had some supernatural powers like time travel, or invisibility , dream travel but that's too much of science fiction.

I know I met you yesterday morning but I cant stop missing you can I?
Hmmm could not post anything on your birthday and I am not happy with the scraps all the girls sent you. This is my birthday post for you. May all your dreams come true ( offers involving other women are invalid)


jasmine said...

i guess i should delete the birthday wish.. i dont want u to b envious :P

Aby ZEET said...

You didnt invite me for the birthday party..... :)