Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Mistake



Does mistakes in life embarrass you? Make you think oh I wasted time on this? There are some mistakes I would like to revisit and correct. Why I ask myself? Maybe to feel good and to enjoy those times in a better way. But I don't regret over them though bittersweet, I paid a price for each mistake and they did make me strong.As someone said its not enough that you just make the mistake, be sure you learned the lesson.This was one such mistake that changed my life- a wrong gang.

I loved meeting new people I still do. I thought I was a good judge , I think I still am :) the trouble arises when I let someone know me too well. I had my share of lessons in the past but this was a totally different experience.

We all joined the hostel for graduation on the same day.It was not my first time but for many others who were at home till 12th std it was their first time and I could see girls crying. Never did these parents who stood with buckets and bed rolls know their daughters would cry three years down the lane thinking of leaving for home, or over some arbit guy whom they met here.

6 of us who lived in nearby rooms became friends.My room mate was the last to join . I used to sulk over not having a roomie and voila!I was blessed with one from my same course and home town who turned out a Judas- with whom I planned trips to home till a semester. I was too blunt even then, said what suited me. From the beginning I knew I never belonged there, with them. My thoughts, my ways, my plans were different. Theirs were limited to getting a degree maybe a job or just marry.I was an alien to them who made them feel inferior ( they told me that later).

Now hostels had political affiliations. It was a tradition to identify a hostel to either KSU or SFI. Mine was unfortunately a KSU followers hub and I was not a KSUite.The others in my gang had no political affiliation but were motivated by seniors to join KSU.Seniors soon realized I would not heed to their wishes. One girl in our gang was quite pretty and guys had started commenting her in college. She had some financial problems and was always worried. To help her out we decided to start a small income generation program( IGP :) ). Most of us painted so we made hand painted handkerchiefs. It earned quite some money.

I don't know what happened later. We had some misunderstanding and this girl thought I was telling people on campus that I felt pity over her and was supporting her.Some seniors also thought that I was the SFI spy in hostel .Clubbing all these allegations some scheming minds who were waiting to split us planned to trap me.

One day when I was asleep my own room mate and 3 others in the gang wrote a written petition to the warden stating that I was harassing them and I had insulted this particular female by linking her name with guys in college.I boss over them and threaten them because they come from poor families was another allegation. Had it been today I would say that it doesn't even qualify for a kindergarten complaint. I was called . In my sleepy state I saw so many lined outside warden's room.Oblivious to what happened, I asked these friends what the issue was . They stood silent. Warden read the petition and asked me to apologize , I refused. Some seniors supported me, some supported them and before I knew what was happening, I had to leave the hostel.I was shocked at being cheated, sad that when we shared meals these plans were going on in their heads. One member in the gang was silent and crying saying she could not stand this.

Months later the pretty girl came and apologized and said she was manipulated by seniors to do so. Well the whole incident shook me a bit, and as far as my party comrades were concerned this was fuel for their pent up anger towards my hostel.

I never spoke to any of them till I left and I don't even today.My roomie is still my neighbor but I don't talk to her.Years have passed by people might think it was a prank but to me it cost a lot then for a mistake I had not done. The hidden agenda of campus politics.

I still meet new people, but maybe I am more careful.Tales of woes doesn't make me altruistic and I don't help beggars anymore.

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