Are you pregnant?

I remember reading Ogden Nash's poem on visit to dentist , for some reason it happens to be my favourite too. Now Hospital visits turn me off since i was a kid. My mom was a nurse and my house was a dispensary , visitng mom frequently i hated the corridors and the smell of disinfectant , though mom worked in Gulf for British Oil COmpany's hospital and that's way superior to the hospitals here, yet hospitals i hated and prayed i never should go there.

But after joining Insti it became a regular affair i dont remember falling sick like this ever. But i never thought i would visit a gynaecologist. My poor brain felt embarassed when i was referred to a gyneac by the GP, it was like depromoting to a lower class. I found the first few minutes outside the doctor's room suffocating. Sight of pregnant women suffocate me and i was getting paranoid as to will these women think i am pregnant?

A lady's daughter saw my scan report and told to her mother in kannada is that the picture of her baby ma? i love kids but that second i felt like killing this one. i found out of my generosity, I was giving my turn to every pregnant woman around .

When finally i made it to the doctor's room she asked me three vital questions with a disgust on her face?

Married? , live in relationship? boyfriend?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO , i said - i must have sounded like some 16th century heroine with that melodrama but i was devastated , still she wrote routine tests circling pregnancy test and some other tests.

At the lab the lab assistant asked first kid? i said i am not married . Oh i am sorry , she replied as if i am some unwed mother, i was psyched - Now am i pregnant I asked myself

And like Mother Mary i replied - " But i dont know the man"

I landed outside hospital clutching the test slip dazed to land in front of a junior who snatched it and shrieked " You pregnant" .

I am confused , i replied, lets see what reports says.......


And i walked away leaving her to decipher......


Visits to gynaecs are more traumatic guys



p.s: The reports were negative i had UTI :)