Amusement parks don’t amuse me anymore

Last year when we were just new to the institute the research scholars planned a trip. It then excited me to see research scholars going to an amusement park. And I often wondered why an amusement park was called one. After an hour there I understood why. While visiting different stalls and rides my attention was drawn to a crowd howling and screaming around a dais. As I neared the group I realized it was a stall called “statue man” There on a dais stood a man immobile. Without twitching a muscle and batting an eyelid. He was dressed in yellow robes and a turban resembling a gatekeeper of olden days.People were trying to make him laugh and talk or at least twitch a muscle. Some even tried verbal abuses and throwing pebbles. For me time froze for a second, I felt like those sci-fi movies where people froze and I was looking around detaching myself. To me this was no game and that man who stood there mute was not an amusement. What must have made him choose this job I thought? And like the MC Donald ads it lighted in my head “SUSTENANCE”. The same need that makes a soldier march with chest held high to Kargil and ends of the earth which we decoratively label and package as Patriotism and serve to elite intellectuals in form of war movies. Do we still believe, two soldiers wearing two different uniforms guarding the LOC just kill each other on war front screaming national slogans? And bullets piercing their skins are too light for them to fall on the field with a smile and hold the soil of motherland in fist, uttering patriotic dialogues, feeling no pain, remorse, and fear for death and love for life? I would call this a duty for sustenance and for which man would do any duty. And no soldier would refrain from shooting another person for this sustenance because if he doesn’t kill him he would kill me. Then how is it a war of patriotism? To them who stand at two sides of LOC perhaps sharing a smoke and listening to same radio station, the concept of self and other, nation and border has transcended way beyond what the limited minds of our so called educated, elitist, perverted politicians, media and ‘aam junta’ has in store.

I looked at the statue man again, wondering when his next break would be and what his state would be by the end of the day. What would be his wages for this game he played for life? I wonder what difference a man and an animal made for a man that anything caged excites him. Caged not in the literal sense, but anyone vulnerable left at his mercy excites him, the excitement with which he exploits a dancer in a bar which is an exhibit again is no different from how he would behave to an animal in zoo and for that matter in any other situation where man is no different from an animal in zoo. Anything exhibited for man is to be distorted and disfigured and that is what is being done to nature till date.

I cannot imagine an animal drawing any pleasure by caging his own species and enjoying mutilating and paining him. This highest trait arising out of supreme intelligence and cultural training is a patent of us human beings alone.

Erich Fromm, in his book “Then Anatomy of Destructiveness” expresses his optimism about human race saying he hopes the human race will not do anything that will wipe out his own existence, simply because man cannot live in isolation. But he also argues that man is the only animal who would go in for a war for no reason and could also harm one another for reasons existing in past or preconceived threats of future all of which is impossible for animals. You don’t see animals killing other animals thinking these people will deplete our water or food resources, but man does. You don’t see animals guarding borders to protect resources, man does. You won’t ever see an animal harming another that too with a well planned strategy for something the other animal did months ago. This reminds me of my first class in zoology where my teacher asked,” Do you know how we are different from animals?”. “We are blessed with a superior seat of intelligence and we can think rationally and creatively, which they can’t”.

Had she said that today, I would ask what all has this creativity brought in, developed better ways of killing, our own species and the nature to the extent we cannot sustain ourselves on this earth today . Every advance in science was accompanied with disasters not just because science was wrong or bad but man who handles it is degraded. Ensuring sustainability of machines is easy but what about man who is in charge of it? I don’t pride myself over an animal, but at times pity the curse of my species to have been overloaded with such an intellect which gave away their heart.

As the howling and hooting got over, the statue man got down for a break and I heard scholars behind me discussing on Amartya Sen, world economy and globalization, calling my attention to the fact, the they are normal and I am not.

“And then we will worry and rage

When strikes a Godhra , another Orissa

And when Kargils occur

We would forward emails

Pin up badges

Initiate discussions,

Organize conferences, summits

Banquets and discussions

On sustainable development

In a world, where man

Can hardly sustain himself

Because of his own deeds.”

Teena Augustine

-

But now amusement parks don’t amuse me anymore…………………….

Spinster bratz- Fundaes on Love

Its 11.45 p.m, that’s when our day begins......., I was lying drowsy.... 'T' was heating chutney on our electric heater and that's when 'F' said she had something important to say.
Let me guess I said covering my face with a book to avoid the light- if this is about your cat fights in lab I won’t counsel, if it's about missing your family talk it out with 'T'. If it’s about bouts of depression check the calendar maybe your blue dates are nearing. There was a silence.

'F' then said - “I think I am in love". “Thud “- that was me falling from bed. You know something “T said,”your head is as messed up as your room” .
Honey, Inflation, terrorism, sadomasochism, quantum mechanics, u name it I am willing to listen and understand, But this – this I can’t. How can you do something ….. Something so …something so….. Macabre? T added. No not macabre, something so…. Something self destructive. It’s like a suicide bomb your love crap. Shut up your feminism Simon de Beauvoir “F” said.


But at least guess who? “F” said. I got up and sat wondering who that prey could be. Well hope it's not that bozo that troubled you last semester? NO ………..we said in unison – poor choice. My eyes grew wider - Not that dumbo who hit upon me- I'll slaughter you if you set your eyes on him. He is my victim .Nope, she said with a smile – he already suffered under you. Anyone on my hit list? I asked. Nope, she said. Ok then I doesn’t care, I said lying flat on the ground. Well it's ... it’s him. Ok, thank god! I said, I don't know him, but why are we even discussing this at midnight?

Well I don't think he knows and I don't think he loves me said “F”. Well... thank god that solves half of the problem I said scrambling on top of the bed. Do you think it will work asked “F”? Well gimme a paper I said. Lets work the possibilities after all researchers should work out logically. “T” finished heating the chutney and joined.

So u loves him - his part you don't know. Options for the future are

1) You tell him - he accepts - u marry – that’s gonna be horrifying: P
2) You tell him- he rejects - u marry some one else - that’s gonna be like those hindi movies
3) You tell him- he is confused - u both mess up life – that’s gonna give me a topic to write
4) You tell him - u both reach a consensus families object – that’s dead end
5) You don't tell him- you love him alone- you screw your life
6) You both love each other both don't reveal - both screw lives

So what do I do? - asked “F” hopefully. Well… I took my serious posture chewing the pencil as if I was solving a problem of life and death.
Close the chapter and let's eat said “T”. I agree, I said , maintaining the serious posture.

We got better things to think over remember? I said. Better things like what- asked “F”? Well you know our Feminine party resolution not to love anyone from this campus? The - anti valentine’s lunch, learning martial arts. “T” gave me a shrug – any better ideas Ms Snot faced feminist? No actually shopping and having a girls day out is not bad either, though its against my ideal hmmm. Well we could learn painting and music, dance too that's nothing feminist, I added on. We could watch movies. That’s way interesting than hearing guys yell at you and roaming around listening to their success stories and pacifying male egos. “T” stared again. Can’t we give her a Non feminist discourse?

Well dear we don’t want you to get hurt for any dumbo and we don’t want to lose you. “T” nodded assuring I was right this time. Look I am bad at this but I know life is not worth this at the moment. So cheer.“F” looked at “T” and then me. We all started singing and laughing. I whispered to “T”- I hope she is normal. She seems to have bought our solution she said.

Well I got something else to tell you guys. “T’ looked at me anxiously. Is the topic of similar nature, “T” asked. Sort of “F” said. And you want our suggestion right, I asked? Yeah obviously.

How about I break your neck for forcing us to listen this crap at midnight? I said.

Food is always delicious after midnight “F” said and so is Feminism. We agreed in silence and the sorority ended.

The Animal school

Once upon a time the animals decided they must do something heroic to meet the problems of a "new world," so they organized a school.

They adopted an activity curriculum consisting of running, climbing, swimming, and flying. To make it easier to administer the curriculum, ALL the animals took ALL subjects.

The duck was excellent in swimming -- in fact, better than his instructor; but he made only passing grades in flying and was very poor in running. Since he was slow in running, he had to stay after school and also drop swimming in order to practice running. This was kept up until his web feet were badly worn, so then he was only average in swimming. But average was acceptable in school, so nobody worried about that except the duck.

The rabbit started at the top of the class in running, but he had a nervous breakdown because of so much make-up work in swimming.

The squirrel was excellent in climbing until he developed frustration in the flying class, where his teacher made him start from the ground up instead of the treetop down. He also developed "Charlie horses" from over-exertion and then got a "C" in climbing and a "D" in running.

The eagle was a problem child and was disciplined severely. In the climbing class he beat all others to the top of the tree, but insisted on using his own way to get there.

At the end of the year an abnormal eel that could swim exceedingly well and also could run, climb, and fly a little had the highest average and was named valedictorian.

The prairie dogs stayed out of school and fought the tax levy because the administration would not add digging and burrowing to the curriculum. They apprenticed their child to a badger and later joined the ground hogs and the gophers in order to start a successful private school.

Every story has a moral, this one has one too. I would not say its for kids but for their parents and elders who need a moral story once in a while.

It sometimes amazes me how confused our children are. They can calculate square roots but need time management skills to write exams. They can solve toughest logic problem but need counselling when they need to decide on career or relationship.

But we have taught them to apply their brains and. not minds , so what if rabbits cant fly or get horses a "C" in the stories it makes us laugh but we cant see our kids carrying loads like donkeys and pleading for help.

"An application to God"

" I want a multitasked fully automated son/ daughter " who can study/dance/sing/play tennis/crack JEE/GRE/ all the E's left.

In return i am willing to get Boost/ chocloates/ MC D's/N- 70 and all acronyms possible. After all its give an take.


"We have carried loads like donkeys to reach you here son," a father.

"So i got to be one too to keep up the tradition ", asked the son puzzled ( pun intended)


Question: Are we worried about our progeny or ourselves when we force them to do what we think suits them?

Are we blind in love to turn deaf to their pleas and mentally retarded to understand what are kids can do best for themselves?

Maybe we are !!!!! and we are responsible for creating a class of dissatisfied individuals who hate their work and have long forgotten what interested them.And who jump from one job to other to cover up their helplessness. who blurt the same old classical statements, copied from texts and even cant differentiate between their thoughts and quotes.

ITHACA

Ithaca

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,

pray that the road is long,

full of adventure, full of knowledge.

The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,

the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:

You will never find such as these on your path,

if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine

emotion touches your spirit and your body.

The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,

the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,

if you do not carry them within your soul,

if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.

That the summer mornings are many, when,

with such pleasure, with such joy

you will enter ports seen for the first time;

stop at Phoenician markets,

and purchase fine merchandise,

mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,

and sensual perfumes of all kinds,

as many sensual perfumes as you can;

visit many Egyptian cities,

to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.

To arrive there is your ultimate goal.

But do not hurry the voyage at all.

It is better to let it last for many years;

and to anchor at the island when you are old,

rich with all you have gained on the way,

not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.

Without her you would have never set out on the road.

She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.

Wise as you have become, with so much experience,

you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

Constantine P. Cavafy (1911)

I can write the saddest lines - Pablo Neruda

I can write the saddest lines tonight

Write for example: ‘The night is fractured

and they shiver, blue, those stars, in the distance’

The night wind turns in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest lines tonight.

I loved her, sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like these I held her in my arms.

I kissed her greatly under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.

How could I not have loved her huge, still eyes.

I can write the saddest lines tonight.

To think I don’t have her, to feel I have lost her.

Hear the vast night, vaster without her.

Lines fall on the soul like dew on the grass.

What does it matter that I couldn’t keep her.

The night is fractured and she is not with me.

That is all. Someone sings far off. Far off,my soul is not content to have lost her.

As though to reach her, my sight looks for her.

My heart looks for her: she is not with me.

The same night whitens, in the same branches.

We, from that time, we are not the same.

I don’t love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.

My voice tried to find the breeze to reach her.

Another’s kisses on her, like my kisses.

Her voice, her bright body, infinite eyes.

I don’t love her, that’s certain, but perhaps I love her.

Love is brief: forgetting lasts so long.

Since, on these nights, I held her in my arms,

my soul is not content to have lost her.

Though this is the last pain she will make me suffer,

and these are the last lines I will write for her.

IF SHARKS WERE PEOPLE...

"If sharks were people," his landlady's little daughter asked Mr. K, "would they be nicer to the little fish?" "Of course," he said, "if sharks were people, they would have strong boxes built in the sea for little fish. There they would put in all sorts of food plants and little animals, too. They would see to it that the boxes always had fresh water, and they would take absolutely every sort of sanitary measure. When, for example, a little fish would injure his fin, it would be immediately bandaged so that he would not die on the sharks before his time had come. In order that the little fish would never be sad, there would be big water parties from time to time; for happy fish taste better than sad ones.
Of course, there would be schools in the big boxes as well. There the little fish would learn how to swim into the mouths of the sharks. They would need, for example, geography so that they could find the sharks, lazing around somewhere. The main subject would naturally be the moral education of the little fish. They would be taught that the grandest, most beautiful thing is for a little fish to offer himself happily, and that they must all believe in the sharks, above all when they say that they will provide for a beautiful future. One would let the little fish know that this future is only assured when they learn obedience....
If sharks were people, there would of course be arts as well. There would he beautiful pictures of sharks' teeth, all in magnificent colours, of their mouths and throats as pure playgrounds where one can tumble and play. The theatres on the bottom of the sea would offer plays showing heroic little fish swimming enthusiastically down the throats of the sharks.... There would certainly be religion. It would teach that true life begins in the sharks' bellies... In short, there could only be culture in the sea if sharks were people."
From 'Kalendergeschichten' by Bertolt Brecht.

Hope you could read between the lines :)

Race.. Race – Yes Yes ---- Morning walks… No- No

Today I had a discussion with E. She works testing. She said jokingly is there a story by anyone on the angst of a researcher working on examinations. G directed her to me, saying Teena might have an answer, education expert here. I really did not have one, but then I asked “Why exams”? or rather why competition? I knew what lay ahead but being pounced at times gives you many insights when you try analysing and responding to what others say.
She began by saying we have lakhs of students and your alternative ideas sound good but it’s impractical in India.
So exams was to weed out the best , but it was not concerned with individual’s abilities but with the fact that how much you can reproduce at a given time.
How many times we forgot answers and recalled an hour later. So it’s not my knowledge but my skills to reproduce in a short time that’s valued. And for this great task I am gifted a certificate. I am labelled meritorious.
She asked me would I prefer being treated by a doctor who has flunked exam four times or by a doctor who is from a reputed institution? Something R asked me once when I was talking about Dewey and progressive education. Well in the first place does flunking mean incapable or incompetent? My mom was operated by a surgeon from London in fact all the three women who had hysterectomy on the same day had peritonitis and required a re-surgery. And believe me this doctor never flunked or so his reputation says. But if by exams and grading and categorising, we mean one person is superior to other, I find it hard to digest.
We all aspire to send our children to the best schools, and that means a school where our kids pass with flying colours, clear entrances and get the best jobs. We aren’t bothered to see them march like victims with heavy loads, early morning in starched uniform s, we are least bothered if they kneel down in front of classrooms with a hammer in outstretched arms, of course discipline helps or how will they learn to obey their lords later in life.
Scoring below 90’s is unbearable though we know everyone wont be No.1 we believe our kid has to be no matter what he does to push the other one down.
Does it mean we can’t visualise a system where our teachers can avoid exams, avoid competitions and assess students using different strategies and only bring in exams in 10th and 12th. Does writing exams require constant practice for competing and inculcating the fear factor? I understand I am talking of implementing it in government schools with 50-60 students in a class, where teachers are ill equipped with resources, competence, ideas and the students come from different backgrounds.
What I am trying to understand is why did we need exams? Definitely to select some people for a particular task, thereby we labelled the others as useless (maybe they are used less). My college in Kerala ran a kindergarten where there were 50 seats and 250 applicants on average a year. These 3 year olds had interviews and written exam, I have seen kids dozing waiting in queue for interview. Poor child if he misses an answer being drowsy and misses the seat he/she will be stamped unlucky from the beginning of his educational life. I have seen parents breaking down when their child was not admitted doubting if their child is unintelligent.
The sense of being a misfit, a loser and the association of prestige to marks is so pathetic that the word exam is a phobia to many. To ease the phobia we talk of different way of improving exams measuring their application or content rather memory. But it’s like old wine in new bottle. The need for assessing a larger mass within a limited period has left examinations the last resort, but does it have to be terrorising, high stakes and life threatening.
A documentary by an organisation named SIDH (society for integrated development of the Himalayas) beautifully quotes a villager on the occasion of paddy pounding festival “ Remind your teachers to apply right pressure on the children to remove their negativities and not to crush their souls” and that’s how paddy pounding is similar to education to her. Because if the right pressure is not applied grains break like the soul of our children.
An article on high stakes was titled “High stakes are for tomatoes”, definitely you need stakes to hold tomato plants but not to pressurise human souls.
Do we really need Aamir Khan Productions to bring out TZP kind of movies to realise the angst of comparisons, competitions and pain of tormented souls?????
Today somewhere there will be a sitting, a conference a PTA meeting on improvising examinations system how to train our children to be efficient labourers for future industries, How to camouflage exams and give it to the kids sugar coated and may their eyes glue to books and classes .And lakhs will be spend on transferring old wine to new bottle.
The motto is-
“ Duniya ka nara Jame raho”