Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Spinster bratz- Fundaes on Love

Its 11.45 p.m, that’s when our day begins......., I was lying drowsy.... 'T' was heating chutney on our electric heater and that's when 'F' said she had something important to say.
Let me guess I said covering my face with a book to avoid the light- if this is about your cat fights in lab I won’t counsel, if it's about missing your family talk it out with 'T'. If it’s about bouts of depression check the calendar maybe your blue dates are nearing. There was a silence.

'F' then said - “I think I am in love". “Thud “- that was me falling from bed. You know something “T said,”your head is as messed up as your room” .
Honey, Inflation, terrorism, sadomasochism, quantum mechanics, u name it I am willing to listen and understand, But this – this I can’t. How can you do something ….. Something so …something so….. Macabre? T added. No not macabre, something so…. Something self destructive. It’s like a suicide bomb your love crap. Shut up your feminism Simon de Beauvoir “F” said.

But at least guess who? “F” said. I got up and sat wondering who that prey could be. Well hope it's not that bozo that troubled you last semester? NO ………..we said in unison – poor choice. My eyes grew wider - Not that dumbo who hit upon me- I'll slaughter you if you set your eyes on him. He is my victim .Nope, she said with a smile – he already suffered under you. Anyone on my hit list? I asked. Nope, she said. Ok then I doesn’t care, I said lying flat on the ground. Well it's ... it’s him. Ok, thank god! I said, I don't know him, but why are we even discussing this at midnight?

Well I don't think he knows and I don't think he loves me said “F”. Well... thank god that solves half of the problem I said scrambling on top of the bed. Do you think it will work asked “F”? Well gimme a paper I said. Lets work the possibilities after all researchers should work out logically. “T” finished heating the chutney and joined.

So u loves him - his part you don't know. Options for the future are

1) You tell him - he accepts - u marry – that’s gonna be horrifying: P
2) You tell him- he rejects - u marry some one else - that’s gonna be like those hindi movies
3) You tell him- he is confused - u both mess up life – that’s gonna give me a topic to write
4) You tell him - u both reach a consensus families object – that’s dead end
5) You don't tell him- you love him alone- you screw your life
6) You both love each other both don't reveal - both screw lives

So what do I do? - asked “F” hopefully. Well… I took my serious posture chewing the pencil as if I was solving a problem of life and death.
Close the chapter and let's eat said “T”. I agree, I said , maintaining the serious posture.

We got better things to think over remember? I said. Better things like what- asked “F”? Well you know our Feminine party resolution not to love anyone from this campus? The - anti valentine’s lunch, learning martial arts. “T” gave me a shrug – any better ideas Ms Snot faced feminist? No actually shopping and having a girls day out is not bad either, though its against my ideal hmmm. Well we could learn painting and music, dance too that's nothing feminist, I added on. We could watch movies. That’s way interesting than hearing guys yell at you and roaming around listening to their success stories and pacifying male egos. “T” stared again. Can’t we give her a Non feminist discourse?

Well dear we don’t want you to get hurt for any dumbo and we don’t want to lose you. “T” nodded assuring I was right this time. Look I am bad at this but I know life is not worth this at the moment. So cheer.“F” looked at “T” and then me. We all started singing and laughing. I whispered to “T”- I hope she is normal. She seems to have bought our solution she said.

Well I got something else to tell you guys. “T’ looked at me anxiously. Is the topic of similar nature, “T” asked. Sort of “F” said. And you want our suggestion right, I asked? Yeah obviously.

How about I break your neck for forcing us to listen this crap at midnight? I said.

Food is always delicious after midnight “F” said and so is Feminism. We agreed in silence and the sorority ended.

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