If I could I would declare this day as my birthday for the rest of my life because forty minutes ago I had the biggest realization of my life. I went through a life changing experience. My heart just stopped for a second and my whole body shivered. I felt lonely and happy at the same time. I was prepared to die without an ounce of fear or worry. I always feared death but that very moment I felt at peace when I thought of death. I felt like a misanthrope and felt no desire to live for anyone on earth. Is this how people faced their last moment?, I bet not, most of the time we are never ready, we have many unfinished business, loved ones making us want to live more. But that very moment, my mind went blank, something I always wished to experience while meditating. An eerie, cold sensation enveloped me, a heightened sensation of being alive like I had never been. I wasn't suicidal trust me, but everything around me seemed calm and peaceful. I so wished I could die so peaceful only to be defeated by death and to be reminded of my existence. But something has changed within me I can feel goosebumps as I write this.
I am at loss for words to describe what I feel right now but I also know if this moment passes away I wont be able to put these very feelings into words and I don't want to forget this day and this very moment. I lost my battle with faith, hope, love and..................... family ....................... today.