Sunday, May 9, 2010

Marriage matters- Journey to the altar part 7

I wanted a break. Marriage was frightening. But now it hurt my pride to be rejected twice. The old feminist sprang up. I knew ‘Who’ had second thoughts once; but he was more committed when he came back. He wanted to keep his word this time and make up for his misjudgment earlier. I personally felt his father was impulsive and anyways I am not going to be with the in-laws forever but nevertheless how dare they thought they could reject me? The thought irritated me. But frankly I had not expected a Bollywood melodrama. I had friends teasing me for lunch and dinner at the cafeteria unaware of the catastrophe and I managed to dine wearing a plastic smile. “Don’t say things like call wedding off because if I lose you now, I am sure I won’t get you back”, ‘Who’ said. “And why is that?”, I asked. “Because any guy can marry you but no one could accept and love me the way you do”, ‘Who’ was never insecure before because he had never let anyone get so close to him. I felt it took him a lot of courage to phrase those words and I don’t believe he was being mushy in a tragedy. But I am a loser and I admit I had second thoughts; I liked being tragedy queen and suddenly could not reciprocate except to console ‘Who’. God sends angels in time of crisis and I firmly believed in it. Else why would a guy who slept at office, with a spare tooth brush enter the drama at this point? Our celebrated wedding site proclaimed him the manager of the wedding affair. Little did he know he would manage more mess than he had imagined. This was ‘bhai’ – ‘Who’s BHAI.

My equations with him were so-so until then, but the whole turn of events had upset him. The rebel he is and having his own issues with his father he decided this situation required a revolution. I had lost hopes but that evening was the longest evening of my life when I had a series of conference on phone planning strategies for my wedding. It was now war and not love, but I agree “Everything is fair in Love and War”.

Technically bhai could be an atheist for I have not heard him say anything about faith in god. He decided the wedding would happen and in my church because their dad had already called it off so technically it could not happen at their place. His logistics were clear. Reprint cards and pre-pone the wedding. Their parents would not be informed and to ensure they never reach Kerala the first step to be ensured was to cancel their existing train tickets.

I thought my mother would not relent to this but she did to my surprise and I realized her pride was as hurt as mine. I didn’t knew what to inform people about people around for the sudden change of dates and places. ‘Who’ informed his acquaintances that some relative of his has taken ill critically and therefore the wedding needed to be conducted before he passed away and I used the same alibi at the department. It was tough considering I was comparing for a conference and had to repeat the same lie to every person I met.
If things go as planned there would be two people from the bridegroom’s side ‘Who’ and ‘bhai’. A friend of mine said he could arrange a whole group to fake as my in-law’s side to trick the people. It sounded awkward but so did a two people bridegroom party. I imagined what would have happened if the situation had reversed – me all alone at my wedding. Tears welled up as I met ‘Who’ and ‘bhai’ at Cochin airport; they had come down to complete all the formalities for a wedding at the girl’s place. Wedding at short notice needed special requests from the church and I felt ashamed seeing my old mother repeat the same story to priests.

“Our life begins from here, we just got each other, remember that”, ‘Who’ said. “And never ever think of leaving me, I have left everyone for you”. I have heard women say such dialogues. It would have boosted my feminist ego to make a man do this for me but I was not happy hearing it. I felt crushed under the debt of love and respect. A part of mine changed forever.

Was this how life was going to be? I wished we still could have a happy ending. I could not smile but throughout he held my hand firmly and smiled as if he had the whole world with him.

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