Sunday, January 25, 2009
I'll be there for you
Eby I am confused, I don’t know if this is right, it pains me to see you lying still like this and I regret for asking you to shut up those last moments. You know the doctors say you wont wake up, you are brain dead but how do I tell them I don’t want to believe it? You always played dead remember? I wish I could ask your mom what to do.She was always good at deciding during a crisis. She always surprised me with her decisions and now she has left me alone to decide this. You love her more don’t you, you guys are teaming up against me huh ? You want to stay together, punishing me for traveling around and leaving you alone always?
Doctors say you can’t listen to what I say but I know they are lying. You know this aunty came to see you and she told me there is a little boy like you who is not well. She says if you give your big heart that boy can play and go to school.
Your mom would laugh if she saw me now, I have never cried before you know? I told her crying was girlish. But I don’t care anymore .
What do you say? Will your mom be mad at me? I don’t know da I am not as strong as you both; I keep hoping you will come back. Won’t you? I met that boy he likes Sachin like you and he is in 2nd STD too. And guess what he sang for me? your favourite song. He asked me to say Hi to you.
I wish I could join you people too, you know how lonely it is back home. I have not touched the clay model you set out to dry. I promise I won’t stick my notepad over your paintings on the refrigerator. Akshay asked for your ball last evening. I said I need to ask you. He is not that bad huh?
Your mom is gonna kill me , I opened the cooker before the pressure left and guess what ? The roof looks yellow, remember the commotion she made last time. You know what? I wish she came back to kill me.I miss her fights.
You are laughing within aren’t you? Does it hurt a lot da? It’s been a month since we spoke. Your mom speaks to me at times you know? I hear her humming in the kitchen, yelling at me to reduce the volume of the TV. It’s you who left me alone.
Rachel misses you a lot, she has not eaten properly the past one month. She sniffs around searching for you beneath the sofa and bed, she is my comapnion in this game of hide and seek , we both want to believe you will be back.
His name is Aditya you know? that kid who has the heart problem, they call him Adi. The doctors say he does not have much time, and I can help him it seems, but I don’t want to leave you.
They say you can’t be kept like this for long.
Am I doing the right thing? Will you forgive me if I was wrong?
Listen champ ! remember we played rescue missions, you are gonna be a real hero now , you are gonna save Aditya and Papa's proud of you. You are brave aren't you ?
I’ll always love you da and I know you will be alive through Aditya .